


Route

by GardenBodied



Category: To Be Added - Fandom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-14 19:33:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10543110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GardenBodied/pseuds/GardenBodied
Summary: Nova just wants to feel her legs again and Sam needs to get laid





	1. Chapter 1

Routine  
1.  
a sequence of actions regularly followed; a fixed program.

A common word used everyday in modern day language, you might think you don't say it, but your friend says it; your family says; even the secret people say it.

I have said it a total of 38 times today- you see, having a strict protocol to fill under the roof of a secret facility testing the brightest and most unstable mutant minds of a routine based generation. I'm the same woman standing there, with a white, crisp lab coat- always writing something down. Observing, Noting. 

I have a ex-husband who works in stocks and works on lines of cocaine. I hate his guts but what can you do when you have two beautiful girls that you had out of wedlock. Twins, Nova and Terri- simpler times. I wish they didn't have to live with the or grandmother because they saw him- disgusting fist slamming into my stomach because I told him to get off his ass and do something for once.

Whatever, marriage wasn't the happy fairytale I believed it was, nothing was happy anymore.

" It's 4:45 am on this already warming up morning- so for the trivia question of the day- " the static came through, interrupting the thoughts I had when I drove to get to work in the morning, tired and praying the make up would keep me the trophy wife with PhD look going. It usually did. After some more dumb commentary reeling in my mind like I was in some movie, I pulled into the facility parking lot. Letting a brief yawn out I got out of my car, undoing my baseball cap and put my hair up. 

When I was done, I passed for a doctor- who felt more tired than she looked. 

After getting through a security that if you bribed them with a few goodies and sweets, they made the process faster but more thorough; not everyday some wheezy puggish guard touched every part of my body. I was on my merry way after getting the green to go and I did. A threatening doctor, something that I wasn't. 

" Doctor O'Connery! " My thoughts snapped as I saw the head hancho flagging me down, when I looked at him, he had a huge file. 

" We are assigning you a new mutant, your old one was terminated last night. " 

I briefly flip through the file, I knew about the termination but not the reason, this corporation was all about the do now, ask later. There was never an ask later.

" He looks so scared. " 

" They all do, don't be fooled. He isn't right. "

 I could handle. 

" When can I start? "


	2. Spider's heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nova just wants to feel her legs again and Sam needs to get laid

A nightmare has plagued her sleep for far too long. They were both plagued, and needed help but I can't help them; they were to naive and painfully sweet to even think about taking them to a local shrink for them to start losing their minds at that point. They just had to take some sleeping pills for all their troubles. Nova sat down, dazing off in the eyes of twin, their faces- beautifully stiff. It was an ache into my heart, my poor motherly heart.

" Rhys, can you please get them some bowls for cereal? "

Rhys, the adopted sibling. What a sweet, sweet boy- he was a few years shy than I, but his mind was younger than his twelve year old sisters. He came into our humble house, hugged by the trees. It was soon coming to be a year and I still haven't been able to get use to these thoughts and aches of heart-ache with each new dream I had- each one sickening me. I watched as he nodded and reached to grab them from the counters, going to stumble and place them between the paralyzed darlings. I wanted to know what they saw; but I would forever be out of the loop.

I was trying to say the least.

" Thank you, sweetie. " I pat Rhys on the back to go sit down, he was the only light in the room of an never-ending overcast of the rain. 

Is this what it felt like inside my own flesh and blood? A never ending storm of numb electricity?

* * *

" Terri, tell me you see it too? The poor broken spider's heart in the basement? " My eyes focused on my twins face as she lazily thought of how many times they messed up to get here, lounging over our bathtub's rim, her naked skin dotted with freckles and moles, kissed the same like mine. We shared baths because we were scared kids- just wanting to find why we couldn't live with mom. GranGran and Papa was great, we didn't have to share our rooms, but it was far too personal and intimate. I liked to shared my room with my mirror image. 

" Nova, I don't want to hear this, so cut the crap. You are just going crazy. " Terri's voice made my skin hurt, like she just dropped the toaster in the water, killing us both. I didn't want to believe that I was losing my marbles, letting them scatter- picturing them heading to the basement. Where IT lied. What was IT?

" But you can hear it- I... I know you can." I grabbed some soapy bubbles and squished it against my fingers- it popped silently, spilling it's transparent guts all over my fingers and hands that rain smooth like spilled water.

" NOVA! I SAID SHUT UP! " Terri's voice was shrill and it stung, like she put salt and lemon juice into my eyes, I watched helplessly as she quickly got out of the water and grabbed a towel. Leaving me here, once again- by myself in open water. My mind immediately buried my thoughts into soapy water, pulling my body underneath  the glassy surface- feeling the water enter my nose and ears, filling up every small pore on my skin. If I opened my eyes the soap would burn- burn my retinas and turn me blind so I couldn't dream.

Air was suffering for me to come back, so I surfaced, breaking my state of dreaming to see a grown man staring at me from the foot end of the tub. My body jumped a bit but it was only Rhys. He was the kinder, older brother. Something this family needed.

" Having a moment? I- I heard... Terri-Berri- She sounded so angry."  He was right, she was pissed off- in a less of better statement.

" She was, She will get over it. " My head turned to look at him, he was so beautiful.

He made me forget that the spider's screaming heart was beating under the basement's floor. I wanted to open it, to let it die and leave me alone. Rhys could help me, I knew he could.


	3. Crawling away from you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sara struggles with a three year long boner killer

Wasn't it simple enough? Man falls for a woman, He realizes that her cold distance is enough to drive anybody away and feels bad. It's his fault that she is thinking about this stuff, so he might bury his troubles in another and call it off with her because he is stronger and bigger than that.

It was just a local diner I worked at, I had stains of ketchup and fryer grease on my apron and I haven't properly slept in what felt like the turn of a new generation. He is fiddling with the coffee I got him, two creams and one sugar. Like how it was from the start, the first date that ended with me making a mistake of giving it up on the first night. It was only a kiss, I swore on my mother. She would've wanted it like that. _Just a kiss._

_" I've been seeing someone, Sara. "_

_" What? Like a friend or a doctor? What do you mean, Jacob? "_

He is so nervous, itching his lips with his thumb, he can't look at me, he never has looked at me in the span of 4 weeks. I want to see him, not that it would do much. I don't feel much anymore. I'm falling more for a guy in my dream that I don't even know what he looks like, he is nervous and shy and stutters, badly. I kinda like it. It was mean of me, but I need someone who would be there like he was; even if he wasn't real. I can already feel Jacob grow impatient and stubborn, he knows I'm dazing off again and it makes this whole ordeal harder on the both of us. 

" Sara, I've been i- god.. " The instant his eyes met mine, he is swallowing his aching heart, his favorite part about me was my eyes. They reminded him of a cute dog we thought about getting, in the future. He leans against the table, trying to swallow pain and guilt. I watch him nervously before looking around to see the clock or the tv- statically inclined to talk about weird events caused by these weird mutant groups. It's just a crazy world.

" Sara, I don't think I can do this anymore. I just don't love you the way I use to. I've been seeing someone else and I think it's just would be better to..to- " He is taking this harder than it needs to be. Why is he so heartbroken? He was the **ONE** who **CHEATED** on **ME**. I feel a fireball of hurt, rage, everything ugly form inside my chest, scratching at my ribs to let it out so he could know what heartache was.

" Oh. Is she pretty? "I found my eyes hurting and bleeding clear blood, I can see the street people in this city, going by and seeing a puffy-eyed waitress and immediately feeling a pity on because they don't know what else to do but to just give her a look that gave her a hot wash of shame. That hot wash of shame never comes. Yeah, I'm hurt, but I'm more hurt that I fell out of love before he did, that he kept going when I gave up. I hope she is sweet to him, I hope they get married and have beautiful kids. I hope she takes my original plan from me and does 200 times better.

" Sara... Please don't cry. I'm sorry. " He reaches over for one last touch, it hurts. It's only fuel the heart burning into my sleeve, it hurts so much. His hand touches a tear off my cheek, I feel every bad sensation we had. Three years down the drain for what? A halfhearted goodbye and some bullshit 'I didn't mean for us to end up like this'? " I will never forget about us, Sara. I never thought those three years would end like this. I didn't mean to. " I honestly would say, I wasn't surprised. I can read him like a book.

I get up and sigh, rubbing my tears away. "I have to go back to work, Jacob. " I look down at my hands, I don't see any black smudges, I'm fine. I will keep telling myself I'm fine, but I'm not. I feel him sit back down and fish a dollar and fifty cents from his jacket pocket and put it on the table, he leaves just like how I wanted him to, no other words from there on out.

My eyes pry awake, I'm still in my clothes in a room that is still so unfamiliar and smells like a fire waiting to happen and peony candles. Everything would be the same if I just didn't have someone else, his hands still under my bra from a late night fiasco that didn't even happen. His mouth was right by my ear and I could see out of the corner of my eye. A crazy lover's wide-open eyes, studying my profile, counting all the faint freckles lining my jaw and cheek. No words was exchanged in that moment, because he showed me that I was loved with tiny kisses and grasping groans, gripping hands on the headboard and skin on skin.

My body ate him like fire eating paper. It was quick but potent. I didn't feel the heartache for Jacob anymore. He was old news and out of style for me. I had someone new, new fire, and new touch. It was glowing with love and affection that I wanted for the longest time. It's funny how in a span of two years, you can find someone new and better- how you can't remember heartache.

He was kind and loving, never was there to bore me. How I love him.  When our connection was over, we still had our hands all over each other, he would tell me about realities. I ate it up, staring out our entwined fingers in bed, bare naked and lying next to each other. It was like my dream, but the mysterious man sat next to me, with his pretty blond hair and tired eyes studying his favorite color painted on my nails.

we were beautiful together.


	4. Crowded Places

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sara teaches you how to properly get rid of trash

Defeat is a bubbling pot, a heartbreak is food poisoning you can't shake off. Betrayal is a oven burn, turning your hard work into black, charred remains. If only I was that resistant to that kind of stuff. I charred my curtains once, it was kind of funny; but anything was funny when you were high on some kind of drug and suffering majorly from a heartbreak. Heartbroken because you fall out of love because you had this gift- a fucked up gift no one wants. 

I sit in my living room, drinking alcohol that hurts my throat and makes my pores dry out, I search through all these pictures of Jacob. Our friendship started so long ago, we were the best of friends- moved in together and started catching feelings. It's the worse. Especially after coming home a day after spending the night at your parents, coming home to find his shit picked up and gone. No traces of him. Sometimes I wished it could've worked out between us- we pictured our wedding, white and silver with hits of red. It would be beautiful.  
My mind plays painful memories that at that time, seemed so fun- now they just cause heartache. If I didn't love him towards the end, then why does it hurt too much?

" And the wedding cake? " I'm writing this down on a burger joint's napkin; he is thinking, a comical expression on his face. I start to write down chocolate, it's his favorite. " I was think- ah fuck, you beat me to it. One point for queen Sara. " I laugh as i reach and shove a fry in his mouth, he couldn't help but laugh too. We said we will get married when we can afford a little retro modern home in California somewhere. Leaving Chicago behind in our tracks. Starting a new fire of our life.

" Oh! And we should have like a bartender who is good at doing the Smiegel impression every time you order something. " He is watching me write, we have a stack of written on napkins of our wedding plan and what house we will live in. It was fun times. "Okay, Jake. That is fucking stupid, but I'm so game. " I laugh as I write down Smiegel bartender; letting the words form a picture in my mind, it was too fun not to pass up thinking about a grotesque little gremlin thing making the bride a black and white Russian. He can feel me try to hold it in, so he makes it heard that it's okay to laugh. We laugh. We laugh till it hurts.

" And-And your mom will be there, taking our pictures like the prom days." Jacob is laughing, he loved that I was able to deadlift him, I use to be strong, now I was too lazy that I didn't work out much anymore. "My mom has that still framed up in the living room." His bursts out laughing even louder, my eyes softened as I looked at him, loving him more with each word he says.

" My god, Sara. I love you and my future mother-in-law. " He says with the laughs hiding the fact he said the final bit. I was happy, I had my life on track.

" I love you too, Jacob. "

I cry until it hurts, till I'm burning the box of napkins, photos and writings, Everything. It has to burn, I put my hand directly into the box and everything grows warm, flames engulf my hands and so did it to all these memories, they focused on the better times, I don't want to see them anymore. It makes me sick from how I gave that all up because I was a fiery freak. I'm sobbing as the memory plays like a broken tape, it hurts as I try and muffle my cries with hard liquor. I hate booze- but it's the only thing that hurts me to make me feel better. 

I watch it burn before quickly grabbing a cup of water and drowning the flames licking at what was left of a happier time, I didn't want to feel like my life was stuck in a box we made together.

_Because I've been scared of crowded places._

 


End file.
